


Our Slates Are Clean

by cerie



Category: The Host - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-30
Updated: 2013-03-30
Packaged: 2017-12-07 00:35:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/742054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cerie/pseuds/cerie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I open my mouth to protest, ready to explain that falling stars are just super heated asteroids falling through the atmosphere but Ian stops me with another kiss, this one deeper and more intimate than before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Slates Are Clean

**Author's Note:**

> Set shortly before the epilogue in the book. Spoilers for pretty much the entire novel.

To say that I am unused to this body is an understatement. I have been on many worlds and each requires a period of acclimation but in all that time, I have never skipped. I’ve always lived out an entire life term in whichever body I’ve been given, no matter how placid and staid that existence might be.

I don’t think anyone judges me harshly for being in Pet’s body now instead of Melanie’s but it is difficult to wrap my head around the differences. Pet is smaller, weaker and has a crippling response to any sort of stress whereas Melanie’s body used to live for those occasions. While I want to help the colony as much as I can in getting food and supplies, I can’t help but wonder if I won’t be a liability instead. Pet’s body cannot exactly fight back the way Melanie’s could.

There’s a raid tomorrow, the first where I will be going out with Ian, Melanie and Jared and I’m nervous. While I know the risk is lessened just because I’m able to get in and out easily and they are not, I still don’t like risking my human family at all. I wish there was some way I could just go alone, get the needed supplies, and find a way back to the caves without leading any Seekers to us. If only.

My worried thoughts have set me to wandering and before long, I turn up at the mouth of the cave where the sky is painted with bright stars against the velvet sky. The constellations of Earth are different from every other planet I’ve been to and yet I find that they feel more like home. I feel like I can navigate myself anywhere on this planet and find a place to be happy where numerous planets never satisfied me before. It’s irony at its best that this world, this violent, turbulent world, would be the one that I choose to live out the rest of my days on.

I hug my arms around myself and try to fight off the desire to go indoors. The desert at night is cooler than inside the caves and Pet isn’t used to anything but soft things and perfect temperatures. I have tried to find out who she was and what she’d done with her life before being used as a host but there is nothing, no matter what I do, there is nothing. I guess that I have truly been granted a blank slate.

I start somewhat when I hear footsteps behind me because while the days of outright hostility are long gone, I will never feel truly safe among all these humans. Melanie’s aunt and cousin still give me wide berth and while the others have embraced me, some warmly, it would be naive to think that I will always be accepted if the dynamics of this group change. I turn just enough to see who it is and smile when I realize it’s Ian. 

“If you wanted to go on a walk, I would have gone with you,” he says and I’m reminded, yet again, just how gentle and kind he truly is. It is very difficult to dislike Ian, even if Melanie gave it a valiant attempt, and now even she considers him a close friend. I suppose that’s easier now that we aren’t sharing her body and using it to conduct two romantic relationships.

“I hope that I do not get us killed tomorrow,” I say, deciding to get that out first and foremost. My nerves are bubbling at the surface and I feel like I won’t be able to do anything else until this raid is over and done and I prove to myself I will be capable without the strength of Melanie’s body to help me. Before, I had the driving need to save Jamie and Melanie’s strength of will to carry me through and now, while I am motivated to help the others, it isn’t the same. Pet’s body doesn’t have the adrenaline.

“You won’t. You’ll be amazing,” Ian promises. He shifts closer and cups my face in his hand; it feels so different now than it did before when I had Melanie’s body. I have found that I like being held by Ian in this body because it makes me feel safe and cosseted when Pet is so small and delicate. I like the way it feels when he kisses me, so much so that I take the initiative and meet his mouth with my own, eyes closing shut because the tide of feelings is just _so strong_.

“When you say it like that, I almost think I will be.” Ian seems confident and he tugs me into his arms to watch the night sky for a little while, pointing out constellations here and there. We watch as a meteor arcs across the sky, leaving a white-hot trail of debris in its wake, and Ian tells me to make a wish. I open my mouth to protest, ready to explain that falling stars are just super heated asteroids falling through the atmosphere but Ian stops me with another kiss, this one deeper and more intimate than before.

I don’t make a wish. Mine has already been granted.


End file.
